It was dark, and cold, and I was very, very afraid. I was crouched behind a bush at the edge of the forest. I could feel the cold on the ground seeping through my jeans and into my bones. I could hear the wind blowing the leaves in the trees behind me and I could hear what sounded like footsteps on leaves and twigs. I imagined some animal or monster coming out of the forest to get me. I was trembling with fear and cold. I had been sitting there for what seemed like an eternity yet I don't know whether it was minutes or hours.
Why was I sitting in the cold, dark forest by myself? I was waiting for my parents to come looking for me. I sat behind that bush desperately wishing that they would notice and care enough to come find me. No one came. I eventually realized that I had to go inside. I was freezing. Where else cold I go? I swallowed my pride and walked out of the forest and down to the house. I open the door and walked in to find my parents exactly as I had left them. They were in the dining room, arguing loudly. They had been at it the whole evening. I realized in that moment they were so caught up in their drunken fight, they hadn't even noticed I was gone. I was devastated.
This experience, layered on top of many others like it, led me to the only possible conclusion a kid could come to. I was so insignificant that even my own parents didn't see me, care about me, or love me. I DID NOT matter. This might sound crazy but I grew to believe that in a way, people actually couldn’t see me. On the inside, I felt like a dysfunctional ninja moving silently, invisibly through the world.
On the outside, not so much. I was ambitious and aggressive. I was obnoxious at times. I blurted out whatever thought I had in my head. I didn't bother to tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing. I did what I wanted and didn't think about the consequences. Not surprisingly, I had a lot of trouble with relationships. And jobs. And getting along with people. I was told over and over that I needed to do something about my "attitude".
I worked for years to figure out what was "wrong with me". I read dozens of self help books, took quizzes and received lots of unsolicited advice. None of it worked to change my "attitude" and my belief that I didn't matter.
I DIDN'T HAVE A BLUEPRINT TO FOLLOW OR SOMEONE TO GUIDE ME.
Until I discovered Rhonda Britten and the Fearless Living Institute (FLI). FLI saved me. Through doing the work of Fearless Living, I learned that there's nothing wrong with me. I learned that fear was that voice in my head that said I didn't matter. I learned that over time, fear seeps into your bones and turns you into someone you aren't. Like the cold from the ground seeping into my bones that night I hid behind the bush. Over time fear changes you until you are unrecognizable. Unless you know how to work with your fear. Because of Fearless Living, I was able to recognize and have a relationship with my fear. I learned how to change that internal voice that kept telling me that I was insignificant. I'm not saying it's gone entirely. I still hear it. But now, I have tools to help me differentiate between the voice of fear and the truth of who I am. I have tools that help to remind me that I have significance, I am loved and people do care about me. I matter. Oh, and I'm NOT a ninja. Dysfunction or otherwise.
I'm now a Certified Fearless Living Coach (CFLC), Mentor Coach and Certified Fearless Trainer (CFT). As a coach I help my clients recognize and manage their fear so they can live the life they want. As a Mentor Coach, I help train coaches who are working toward their Coach Certification. And as a CFT, I teach workshops to spread the word of Fearless Living and help people wake up and take charge.
I'm also a Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ) Enhanced Skills Practitioner. I help people refine their communication skills in a way that increases trust and decreases defensiveness in others. How cool is that??
I have the BEST JOB EVER!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT ON YOUR OWN.
It's tempting to think you "should" be able to figure all of this out on your own. Well, I know it was certainly slow going for me. We all need the support of other people at times. If this is one of those times for you, I can help.
I can teach you the same skills and tools that I now use to live a happy, conscious, fulfilled life.
I want that for you.
Do you want it? If so, let's go get it.
SCHEDULE A STRATEGY SESSION
UP CLOSE + PERSONAL WITH VICKI
I live in Washington state with my husband, daughter and two boxers. I was born in California and lived there most of my life. But I have always felt the pull of the Pacific Northwest. Trees and mountains are my thing. Cool, crisp, clean air makes me happy. And I don't mind the rain one bit (most of the time).
- My little family.
- Cooking. Especially baking. I make badass cupcakes and cakes.
- My dogs. Even though they are obnoxious at times.
- Craft beer. I'll admit it. I'm a bit of a beer snob.
- Playing in the snow.
- Camping. Especially in the desert.
- Did I mention food?
- My job. Being a coach is the ultimate win-win.
I read and study. A lot. I love my business and I'm pretty much obsessed with improving myself and learning new skills and methods to bring to my coaching. As a coach, I'm warm, results driven and direct. I don't beat around the bush. Because that isn't going to support you in getting what you want. If you want someone to agree with you and help you stay comfortable, I'm probably not the coach for you.
I’m a Certified Fearless Living Coach (CFLC) and certified fearless trainer (Cft).
I didn’t just give myself a title and hang up a shingle one day (watch out for “coaches” with no coach training). I’m a CFLC – which means I'm an expert on fear and how it screws with your head. I spent almost 2 years getting certified and it was the most challenging and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I continue to up-level my coaching skills each year by attending additional training and adding new methodologies to my tool kit. I'm also a CFT which means I am licensed to teach 5 of Rhonda Britten's workshops. And they are amazing!
I used to be a scientist.
No kidding, I have a degree in Biological Science and in my past life I worked for a large pharmaceutical company doing drug research. I’m an analytical type who sees patterns and collects data. All in the name of making sure you have what you need to rock your career and life.
Vicki's a "Master Coach" WITH over 1,000 coaching hours under her belt. she's been around the block a few times. She's an experienced coach who can get to the heart of the matter quickly.
I'm a Mentor Coach.
I'm part of the Mentor Team at the Fearless Living Institute and I train coaches. I love this part of my job and it's so amazing to contribute to the coaching community in this way.